Wednesday, November 21, 2007


That's my new word du jour. I liken it to RINO (republican in name only vis-a-vis Rudy Giuliani). Transpoliticked can actually have two meanings according to Mike's dictionary of the insane. 1) adj., origen unknown, refers to one whose actually political beliefs vary markedly from their political affiliation. Ex. calling oneself a democrat when in reality the person is a bleeding heart socialist. Or, 2) adj., describing a politician who cannot figure out which sexual organ they prefer so they use one and dress like they have the other.

This phenomena likely doesn't happen in Iran, because as President Mahmoud Imawhackajob says, this is unique to the United States. However, it has happened twice in recent months, and oddly enough, not in San Francisco.

First, there is Susan Stanton, former Largo city manager; formerly known as Steve Stanton. At age 48, after losing his/her/its job in Largo, FL, Steve decided that it was time he come clean - so to speak. Despite marriage and children, Steve preferred hosiery to dress socks and bras to wife beater undershirts. And so began the era of Susan Stanton.

Some months have passed and the mental image that scarred my mind's eye had faded. Until today, when it was reported that incumbent Michael Bruce ran for Riverdale, GA's city council seat as Michelle Bruce.

Honestly, if these two dudes can't figure out what to do with their own twig and berries, how can they possibly represent a constituency, whom for the most part I suspect, know damn well who they are, what their private parts are intended for, and what they believe? Beyond that, look at them. Guys can get away with ugly a lot easier than women can. It's a terrible, yet true, double-standard. As men, I'm sure these guys were relatively average save for their FUPAs. (Look it up at But as women, they are butt fugly; as in, fell out of the ugly tree, struck every branch on the way down, and landed in a major bucket of suck.

I can understand, perhaps, having a preference for one gender or another. As a guy, my preference is FOR the female gender. Not to be one, dress like one, or act like one. As such, one might conclude that I am a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Nevertheless, I don't wish to look like a real lesbian wearing butch jeans and butch hair and talkin' all tough like I just wiped my rear with a pine cone. I cannot understand the desire to be, biologically, something that I am not. Contrary to some opinions that may form as a result of my coarse demeanor, I subscribe to the classic Judeo-Christian tenets of faith and as such believe that every human was "fearfully and wonderfully made" and that no person, in their present form, was a mistake. As such, if you want to re-create yourself as a member of the opposite gender or another gender/species entirely, that's up to you. However, do NOT think that you are entitled to hold an elected office as a one-man/woman/thing freak show.

I am sick to death of every whiny-ass minority thinking they warrant special rights and treatment. The most politically correct in our society like to spout ad-nauseoum about tolerance yet refuse to tolerate the opinion of the majority who say "stop pandering to these fractional, freak show minorities." "Oh, we need gay rights, lesbian rights, transgendered rights, wild monkey-love rights, hippy rights, witchcraft rights, black rights . . . " Blah Blah Blah

Of all of those, only one is an uncontrollable genetic event. The rest, arguably, are choices. Gay or otherwise. Personally, I have an enormous propensity to favor females. However, as I have learned the hard way, I MUST choose one and be done. It works so much better that way. I cannot go around having coitus with multiple females and then whine that I need special rights. The only "right" I have is to be harshly judged and condemned for my actions. Period. Similarly, what a person does or doesn't do, prefers or doesn't prefer, should have no bearing on the assignment of special rights. There are human rights. Period. Life. Liberty. The pursuit of happiness.

As such, if playing dress-up and taking your grown-up drag show on the road is your pursuit of happiness, go nuts. You're already half way there in my humble opinion. However, don't expect to be welcomed into public office with open arms and then whine that you were disenfranchised. There are plenty of things to do, irrespective of your so-called preferences that don't involve elected office. Go do that. And stop grossing the rest of us out. I don't expect you to wear a Scarlet Letter 'F' (standing for freak) but neither do I want to have your issues imposed on me.

It has long been time that we collectively settle on a singular, universal set of rights called "human." Beyond that, if your preferences result in you being on the fringes, then accept that and move on. Don't expect the majority to bend over backwards for you. That ain't how it works.

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