Threatened Species: Dads

Another Father’s Day has come and gone, mostly unnoticed but for the retailers who want to sell you the latest novelty tie that Dad will never wear twice (if at all) or the latest battery-powered grill cleaning gadget that will be relegated to the bathroom for when his back really itches.


Men, in general, have been getting a bad rap in America for the past two-plus decades. Some of it well-deserved. Much of it not. In 1987, Hardenbrook wrote a book titled Missing in Action – Vanishing Manhood in America. Therein, he explained how the women’s rights movement and groups like NOW and science, have relegated men to the brink of irrelevancy. No longer are men perceived as a requirement for a “normal” nuclear family. No longer are men needed to father children – either literally or figuratively. Society actually embraces the concept of “my two moms” more than it ever seemed to embrace a mom and dad.


For years, with rare exception, when men are portrayed as fathers on TV, they are usually pot-bellied, bumbling buffoons out of touch with their children and their wives. There is a poignant juxtaposition between the likes of Cosby, Father Knows Best, Ozzy and Harriet, and The Simpsons, Married with Children, and According to Jim. Every now and then, the dad is allowed to “get it right” but most of the time, he is ahead to sit quietly on the sidelines while mom and the kids get along quite nicely without him.


From newspaper columnists to radio hosts, fathers took an absolute beating yesterday. Absentee dads. Dads who abandoned their families. Dads who shirk their responsibilities. Dads who create statistics that presumably inspire sitcom writers to perpetuate the myth. Heaven forbid that the tables ever be turned on the moms. Motherhood is held nearly as sacred as the Virgin Mary and Mother Teresa. No matter how many moms abuse their children, ignore their children, poor milk over the heads of their children, commit crimes and are incarcerated away from their children, motherhood is held above all else as the most “holy” of roles. Mothers vis-à-vis wives can unwittingly or otherwise bench their husbands and relegate them to the role of financier and chauffer and occasionally, sous chef when cooking with fire is needed. Yet, it is the dads who are vilified as soon as they say “ENOUGH!” It is the dads who lose their children, their home, and their self-esteem who then get beat senseless by the media, society, and pundits alike. It is the dads who spend fathers’ day, the most laughable of holidays, without their children, perhaps seeking secondary employment to meet the balance of their obligations.


Frankly, I don’t expect anything to change. Not as a result of this blog that will likely go unread. Nor because of any major societal revolution driven by dads and right-minded wives/moms alike who concur that the guys have gotten the short end of the stick. To the extent that I was able, I enjoyed my day in the company of the one I love (at home and church) and the dog. But it was also a day riddled with tears and ultimately enough wine to take the sharpest edge off the pain. But even that brought with it the realization that nothing changed. Tomorrow would be just like yesterday. I might get the requisite phone call from one of my children. Or I might not.


I wish my dad were still alive so at least I could wish him a Happy Father’s Day. He got it right – even though he sometimes got it wrong. The best that I could hope for now is that his heavenly father conveys the message on my behalf. I’m sure that sounds quaint to some and ignorant to others, but even this dad and son can still have hope. Hope that tomorrow WILL be better. Hope that I will be able to get it right. Hope that wives, women, and society will come to appreciate as a whole, that no matter how flawed we dads may be, we still have feelings. And while we may make mistakes we also try to make the best decisions we can – even if sometimes it’s the best bad decision available.


So, to all you dads who WANT to be dads to your kids: Happy Fathers Day. Stay in the race. Fight the good fight. To the women in our lives who want to help make that possible and feel our hurt when it is not: thank you.

Uncle Knows Best?

It's been a long time since I've posted here, largely because I'm so disgusted with the government and the people who elect it that it would seem that any common sense I might try to voice would be the equivalent of casting pearls before swine. Chances are, those most needful of grasping that metaphor will neither know its source nor grasp its true meaning. But hey, from what I can see, it would appear that ignorance is total bliss.



If the masses get their way, we will have an Obamanation in the Oval Orifice next year. I would strongly suggest storing food, fresh water, medical supplies, etc. because it could be an ugly 3 1/2 to 7 years depending on how you read Revelation. Suffice it to say, we may all be wearing numeric tattoos before all is said and done.

The State of Florida just passed a constitutional amendment to increase property tax homestead exemptions from $25K to $50K. Big government lovers, the media, and our esteemed governor continue trying to convince us how this was a good thing. Never mind that the exemption increase is about 15 years too late and the entire amendment is worded so poorly that I doubt even its authors know what they really meant to say. Nevertheless, the mindless sheep of Florida voted for it despite the realization that it'll only save them, on average, $250/year. Never mind that an indexed exemption process would ensure that the issue not be visited again. Never mind the current wording set the amendment up for a constitutional legal challenge. (Be wary when Crist finds his name on a national ballot.)

Be still my soul. To offset the lost revenue in property taxes, the State is now proposing an additional 1% sales tax on purchases. Let's say that the average person who owns a home spends $20K per year on taxable purchases (consumer goods, some foodstuffs, clothes, eating out, durable goods, etc.). One percent of $20K is $200.

Yeah, great amendment. We just saved $50. Meanwhile, fuel prices continue to skyrocket courtesy of the Federal Government mandating the switch to summer blends. This results in refineries operating at 85% capacity (not counting the one that just burned). Gas prices at the station by my office jumped 15 cents since Friday. 15 cents x 44 gallons (my tank size) x 52 weeks = $343 more out of my pocket courtesy of our omnipotent government.

And don't forget the increase in food prices stemming from ethanol production which actually requires more petroleum to produce (tractors, fertilizer manufacturing, trucks to deliver to processing, trucks to move from processing to storage, etc.) - none of those trucks or tractors run on gas which COULD be supplemented with ethanol. No, they're all diesel powered.

BTW, did you know it costs 1.6 cents to manufacturer a US penny? (If you're a reader of this blog or pay attention to the news, you did.)

Yeah, we are governed by a bright bunch. See what happens when you get a bunch of attorneys involved in anything and then convince the media that liberal government is a good idea?

One of those treasonous Revolutionary War guys once said that ". . . a revolution every 200 years is good." Annie, get your gun.

Jesus - Not Just a Drywall Hanger

Contrary to popular belief, Jesus is not just the name of every other Hispanic drywaller or painter or concrete specialist. In fact, it would seem that it's only accepted by some cultures to name their children after the most significant religious figure in history. Sure, there are a few Abrahams and Muhammads. Odd how no one seems to name their kid Buddha. Or Tao. Hmm. Go figure.

At any rate, I heard a sermon last weekend that got me on the ever-dangerous path of thinking - not one of my strong points. The gist of it was that everyone seems to have a different notion of who Jesus is to them. To some, he is merely the drywall installer. To others, the painter, or gardener, or pool boy. Still to others, he is merely a profanity. Or a fictional character. Or a great teacher. Or a prophet. Or a little baby in a manger with sheep and a mule and wise guys and shepherds. In Talladega Nights, Ricky Bobby liked praying to the sweet little tiny infant Jesus just lying there in a manger; Cal Naughton, Jr. preferred to think of his Jesus as wearing one of those tuxedo shirts that says I'm formal, but I'm here to party and playing lead guitar at a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. Mrs. Bobby steps in and says she thinks you're supposed to pray to the grown-up Jesus.

To many a televangelist, Jesus is a cash-cow. To some, Jesus is nominally involved in that winter holiday around which retailers gauge consumer confidence. To public schools and government, Jesus doesn't exist at all. Nor does God. Allah is ok, as long as he isn't blowing stuff up.

I could continue, but I ask you: who is Jesus? Who is He, really? Beyond what you think you know, beyond what you were told by your grandma as a kid, and past the guy who's middle initial, contrary to popular belief, is NOT "H"? For the record, it doesn't begin with F or PH either.

The Bible says Jesus is the Son of God, in whom He is well pleased. It says He is the once and final propitiation for our sins (past, present, and future). It says He is our brother, high priest, counselor, and friend. It says He is our intermediary before a completely holy, omnipotent, omniscient God. Did you know that He is called the Lamb of God because God provided Him as the final blood sacrifice? Did you know that prior to Jesus' death and resurrection, Jewish priests had to sacrifice an unblemished, perfect lamb for the temporary forgiveness of sin? Did you know that God first implemented a blood sacrifice (the shedding of blood) as a result of sin when He made clothes for Adam and Eve after they ate of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil (note, not the same as the Tree of Life, and not an apple tree)? Did you know that Jesus is as alive and relevant today as He was 2000 years ago? Did you know that He longs for a relationship with you? Not religion. I could be religious about playing golf every Sunday (and soon "lose my religion" because of my chronic bad habits). He wants you to know Him, as He already knows you. Did you know that you were fearfully and wonderfully made and before He formed you in the womb, He knew you?

Put aside whatever impressions you may have of Him. He wasn't white, or Asian, or black. He wasn't walking around with a halo and aura as depicted in Renaissance art. He was just like you or me among His peers and contemporaries. If He was a stand-out in a crowd, Judas would not have had to betray Him with a kiss for the guards to know who to arrest. He wasn't as the native New Zealanders portray him with body art on his face. Although, He was. He is exactly who you need, when you need Him, whether you know it or not. And He's waiting for you to invite Him into your life.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whomever believes in Him shall not die, but have eternal life. For God sent His Son into the world, not to condemn it, but that through Him, the world (people) would be saved. John 3:16-17

What if . . . ??

No, this is not about a Beatles song, but it could be.

What if . . .

It was global cooling instead of warming? While I doubt that polar bears are actually drowning as Algore would like us to believe, I wonder what would happen away from the poles if the world was cooling. This pondering occurred to me as I looked into a pond that I made for my sons' turtles wherein cichlids also live. The water was so chilled by Florida's sub-freezing temperatures that they were all nearly dormant, on their sides, at the bottom of the pond. If instead of our beloved mother Earth "having a fever" as Algore likes to suggest, it was not able to maintain homeostasis (that's the ability to regulate one's body temperature for those in San Jose)? What of all the woodland creatures in the swamps of the deep south unaccustomed to cold weather? How many lizards would die needlessly on bike paths in Miami because they fell from trees due to their chilled blood failing to keep them on their respective tree limbs? Imagine the horror!!

People took ownership of their actions? Imagine the relief that our justice system would experience if people like Carlos Sousa, Sr. simply said "my son, that moron, was wrong to be drinking and hanging out with his buddies and aggravating that tiger. I'm sorry that the community of San Francisco lost a beautiful creature because my moronic kid antagonized it enough to leap from its enclosure and kill him. I'd like to help educate others as to why being a punk is wrong."

The woman in England whom was burglarized despite her six foot fence was permitted to install barbed wire to further discourage thievery. Instead, she was denied this privilege as it posed potential liability issues for her should someone trespass and be injured on the fence.

What if . . .

Jesus had been married? And had a child as asserted in the DaVinci Code? Would it have changed any component of His ministry, death, and resurrection?

Gays and lesbians were allowed to "unite" in a partnership that gave them similar rights (e.g., health insurance coverage, spousal privilege, etc.) as married couples without being called "married"?

Fossil fuels were not from fossils? It would seem that we'd be finding a lot more dinosaur bones if they were the sole source. And, it would seem that the Earth would be running out as was predicted nearly forty years ago.

Government truly was of, by, and for the people rather than special interests and business? What if elections were based upon character and the desire to represent the people rather than personal motivations and self-ascribed birth rights?

Societies and cultures and countries were not propped by other countries experiencing guilt for their prosperity and the warlords and other incompetent leaders were simply allowed to destroy their people by the Peter Principle? If we are forced to subscribe to Evolution, then Survival of the Fittest isn't a jagged pill at all.

Common sense was employed as the litmus test for all decisions rather than emotion and political correctness?

What if . . .

Enviretards, UNITE!!!

You morons. If your heads weren't so far up a seagull's rear, you'd have seen the downstream impact of your whining about oil drilling in the Gulf.

Today's AP is reporting that since 1985, a nitrogen fertilizer-borne dead zone has grown in the Gulf to 7,900 square miles of oxygen-depleted ocean wherein nothing can survive. Brilliant, you donkeys!! So, we save half a penny per gallon by buying gas that contains ethanol, the corn byproduct, but in the meantime, corn has doubled in price since 2002 to $4/bushel. Gee, what else contains corn products? Hmmm. Cows and their products (dairy, beef), anything containing corn syrup, cooking oils, anything else that eats corn before we eat it (like chickens), corn itself. So that means that itty bitty savings we got at the gas tank was pissed into the wind when we drove to the grocery store and discovered that Gulf Grouper, Snapper, Mahi, crabs, and everything listed above are suddenly four times as expensive.

I haven't heard of any oil spills spanning 7,900 square miles and growing for 22 years. Yet the EPA has estimated that some 210 million pounds of fertilizer enter the Gulf every year. If sea levels are rising, maybe it's because of all the solids being dumped into them and not due to some iceberg melting due to cow flatulence.

If the enviretards would learn to leave well enough alone, the world would be just fine. Instead, they take action based on what could happen rather than on what will happen - and then try to shift blame elsewhere when their little scheme backfires. Perhaps the Sierra Club and their ilk would like to subsidize my grocery bill since it has gone through the roof. Perhaps they'd like to subsidize the people whose industries are debilitated as a result of their so-called protective measures, which are neither measured nor protective.

This enviretard global warming myth is truly a religion. If religion was Marx's opiate of the masses, then global warming is the heroin of the tree huggers. Excuse me, could I have a cup of your Kool Aid? You simply cannot look at a ten year or even a fifty year temperature record and claim that it is anything other than an anomaly; there is insufficient empirical evidence on which to base the data to conclude anything else. Yes, there are temperature records for maybe 120 years. There are geologic records from which we can extrapolate certain datum. And there are ice core samples which help paint a clearer picture of ages past. However, to conclude that anything that's happening today is a man made event is nothing more than an urban legend with legs enough to become a religion needing a savior. Enter Algore and his fleet of chartered jets. No carbon footprint there because he is out for the greater good. Yeah, thanks for that, Stalin. What DO we know is a man made event? Upwards of 8,000 square miles of dead water - top to bottom. At least oil just floats on top - it's not like sea gulls are big in the food chain. I have yet to see them at Publix, Kroger, or Wok-n-Stop Take-out.

At some point, the majority needs to get its collective head out of the sand and call these people out for the frauds that they are. You've been duped. Food prices shouldn't be as high as they are, gas prices shouldn't be as high as they are, and farming shouldn't be killing off massive portions of the Gulf. But until enough of us say: "ENOUGH" - they will keep shoving the dry cracker of enviretardism down our throats. Not choking yet? Just wait till next year and you've remained silent.

People: Parasites or Virus? Coming up next . . .

Today's question is whether humans are parasites - feeding off their host(s) until the host dies, or are they viruses - simply replicating and mutating at such an alarming rate that what they infect cannot develop a defense mechanism?

As I await the virus scan, phishing filter, and ad filters to do their work before I could read my Email, I happened to think it's because of other humans that we are so horribly inconvenienced. For every convenience we create, other humans are there to find some way to jack it all up. The horseless carriage! Clever. Put the horse to pasture and fire up the internal combustion engine. Too bad too many idiots behind the wheel necessitated the advent of traffic laws, traffic lights, traffic cops, and the ability to propel oneself from point A to point B without the judiciousness of a horse to determine the appropriate speed. In this sense, the horse was smarter than the rider - how many horse wrecks did GEICO have to insure?

Cell phones! What a great gadget. Cell phones that Email, take photos, access the web, play music, and even siphon your ear wax are all the rage. Yet too bad they cannot discern when their operator is too distracted with other things like, oh, I don't know, DRIVING, to play with their handy gadget. Just Sunday, I witnessed a woman driving on the interstate with one hand holding the phone to her ear and the other holding a burning tobacco stick with a single finger on the wheel, traveling at 70 mph. A few moments earlier, no doubt there was a mascara applicator in her cigarette hand.

This morning, while stopped behind a school bus with all it's signs and red lights aglow, some bearded throwback to ZZ Top pulled out, from a side street, behind the bus which was still loading, then called me an a$$hole because I blew the horn at him. Good thing he didn't get out of his POS Isuzu pick-up truck or my foot might have errantly slipped from the brake pedal to the accelerator in mortal fear. Oopsie.

Email! Destined to put the postal services of the world out of business, one first class stamp at a time. Not so much. I cannot get Emails to people who actually want them because they are filtered out by SPAM filters. I cannot receive the Emails I need because I lose them amongst the other crap the SPAM filters missed. I have to wait ten minutes for the home PC to boot up just so it can load its garrison of safe guards because some fat tater tot in his mom's basement with posters of calendar girls on the walls is sitting there with his T3 line trying to hack other people's business.

Schools! Stellar idea. Until people show up at bus stops and shoot two teenagers. Yesterday. Gibsonton, FL. Watching the eleven o'clock news, I wasn't sure that the bus stop or the subdivision involved was even in the US. It appeared to be some third world country. One asstard that was interviewed could not show his face from under his hoodie, but his name was plastered all over the screen. Guess he's just known by his gangsta name, Masta Monkey Smuggla = or M-n-Ms for short. As such, he is now in the gangsta protection program. The talk show pundits today are speculating that we will need armed officers on every school bus now; this in addition to school resource officers, truant officers, probation officers, etc. Your tax dollars at work - all because Tyrell had his baggies in a twist over some peep dissin' his udder peep.

And can we forget my own first hand experience between two elementary boys and a girl at their bus stop adjacent to my lawn? The two boys, not more than nine years old, arguing over a girl. "Ju stay away from ma girl, cracka." "Shut up, nigga." Back and forth. I sat on my motorcycle looking like Eddie Murphy watching a tennis match - moving my head back and forth all bug-eyed in disbelief. I was waiting for a fight that I would not interrupt other than to call the popo and let them sort it out. I can only imagine the liability if one of them got hurt as I separated them. To hell with that. They can kill each other first. Then the girl, looking at me like I had three heads, says "I'm trying to figure out what that is." "What what is?" I asked out of morbid curiosity. "What you're sittin' on." "This? It's a motorcycle. You don't get out much, do ya?"

So here we are, four prime examples of the new upcoming documentary "Idiots in the Mist." Discovering how evolving from ape to human was a good thing . . . or not so much.

ChristWHAT??

I have a question: why is it that I can no longer say "Merry Christmas" without fear of offending someone, yet I have to warmly embrace "Happy Holidays" and "Happy Hanukkah" and "Allah Akbar Ramadanadingdong" with the gusto of a Ron Mexico pit bull?

Honestly, this whole tolerance thing has gone way too far. Merchants don't mind milking the "Xmas Cow" for every penny they can eke out. Black Friday is actually part of today's financial nomenclature as much as market correction, recession, and trickle down economics. Thanksgiving is warmly welcomed as "Turkey Day" even though there is little evidence that the so-called pilgrims ate turkey and dressing. The President is obliged to pardon a turkey despite that fact that the turkey, unlike Sandy Berger, is not a criminal, has not had a trial (much less an arraignment hearing), and lacks a conviction. All this ballyhoo to welcome in the "holidays" - whatever they may or may not include.

Funny thing. Cinco de Mayo is ok. Boxing Day? OK. Chinese New Year. OK. Easter (the pagan holiday, as compared to resurrection day, the Christian one). OK. After all, who doesn't like bunny rabbits and candy? Hell, let's entertain the clan's old women by having the lil chilrens find colored plastic eggs in the backyard, strategically placed in plain view and at roughly three feet high so that the kids can find them and the old women don't have bladder leakage.

But heaven (I think that's still ok as long as it isn't capitalized) forbid, you should say Merry Christmas. SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE, IT'S EASIER TO DEAL WITH. Some fraction of a percent of a disenfranchised minority may be offended. The PC popo have robbed every bit of fun from a once joyous holiday. 2000 years ago, men traveled for months on end chasing a star in the heavens to celebrate the first Christmas. No, they weren't there at the delivery . . . all those nativity scenes are woefully inaccurate. I also doubt that it was a "silent night" insofar as Jesus was every bit human and probably wasn't too pleased with light and air and animal stink and that water-head drummer boy banging on his tin pot. I suspect He cried when He was hungry and when He pooped himself - just like any other human baby. And like any other human mother, I suspect that Mary was exhausted from the word "go." Meanwhile, Joseph was out in the field draggin' on the Bethlehem peace pipe celebrating the first "Merry Christmas."

Jesus came into the world with a mission. Unlike the rest of us who likely spend the better part of our existence trying to figure out our purpose, He was born with one objective in mind: to sacrifice Himself as the ultimate and final atonement for my chronic state of sin - and yours too. No longer would an innocent animal's blood have to be shed by a priest. Christ became the sacrifice. His death served as the propitiation for my sins, once and for all. Propitiation - look it up.

To that end, I defy you to forbid me this one most joyous greeting. MERRY CHRISTMAS. No other holiday, no other celebration (save for Resurrection Day) has such eternal significance. The day will come that every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. Alert the PC popo and the ACLU now - they'll need some time to refine their lamentations for that inevitability.

Meanwhile, Merry Christmas!!

Stupid People Suck

http://www2.tbo.com/content/2007/nov/29/me-motorist-charged-in-death/?news-metro

Eddie Murphy had a line in one of the Beverly Hills Cop movies where someone supposedly did #2 in the pool and he yelled out "whoever sh** in the pool f***ed it up for everybody." That is so true of our society.

I realize that the job of the news is to report the bad - good news just doesn't sell for some reason. The above link is to a story of a two-time drunk driver killing a motorcyclist last night. Have you ever noticed that it doesn't matter how many laws are on the books, they will be broken? They don't serve as a deterrent. Perhaps its their lack of teeth. Or maybe it's the idiocy of sentencing guidelines. Or maybe it's the damn constitutional freedom from cruel or unusual punishment. Here's a thought: dole out a severe enough punishment often enough and it won't be "unusual." I don't typically advocate anything about militant Islam, but that whole lashing thing seems to be pretty effective. So does hand removal for theft. If judges were left with more options and more discretion, perhaps the criminals would be less inclined to repeat their behavior. There again, if more crimes carried the death penalty with public hanging, stocks, etc., the prison population would be reduced. Nero, that insane Roman emperor, used to use Christians to illuminate the city streets. Perhaps if every city had a lovely "Walk of Shame" with flaming criminals lighting the way, a message would be sent loud, clear, and ah-hmm, BRIGHT.

I cannot count how many times my truck has been broken into and in one instance, stolen. In my past twenty plus years of driving, more than half my cars were burglarized at least once. My house, three times. Yesterday, I discovered that someone stole my USAF license plate. What the hell purpose does that serve? To put it on your 86 Tercel with Wal*Mart clip on spinners? Invariably, you'll get pulled over by the illustrious popo and get hit with having a stolen tag and/or a tag not registered to your vehicle. Smooth move Ex-Lax. I'd be all about allowing the USAF to hunt down the car on the roads and light it up with a pair of sidewinders. That'd be hugely entertaining!!

Some 10,000 brass sprinkler heads have been stolen from area farms in the past year. Why? So the crack heads can take them to the scrap yard to recycle. You would think that the scrap yards would get suspicious, but apparently they don't care. Air conditioners are repeatedly stolen from countless businesses in the "hood" areas of town for their copper. One genius freaked out when the freon escaped in a cloud and he ran to the nearest cop like a frightened school girl. Of course, the brainiac was arrested.

What purpose does SPAM serve other than to clog up Email? Who do you know that has EVER responded to a SPAM solicitation? Responding ought to be as much of a crime as actually generating it. But, the result is SPAM filtering that in many cases prevents legitimate Emails from reaching their intended recipients. You have to advise the recipient to put your address in their "approved" list. Gee, if I have to pick up the phone and call them with that morsel of info, it'd be easier just to tell them whatever I had wanted to Email.

I even learned last night that the teenage girls at my church, who wanted to paint their classroom (which they use twice a week for a few hours at a time), got into a whiny, diva pissing match with each other and their mothers over which shade of pink to paint the room. Who gives a crap? It's not like it's their bedroom. Pick a color and call it a day. Were they my kids, I'd veto the whole thing and paint it blue - just because I could. And all because one entitlement-minded snot-nosed teenager and her mommy can ruin it for everyone.

Pick an issue and I can show you how one rocket-surgeon jacked it up for everyone. How about holidays? No longer can a so-called Christian nation celebrate Christmas (or X-mas), it's RamaHanuKwanzMas - except for the atheists who have to wait for April 1 for their annual holiday. Show me one bit of "good" in this world, and I'll show you how some moron is trying to mess it up.

Wake up, People.

Holiday Funk

No, that's not a new Cheetah Girl song - thank goodness. I've already had more Hannah "Big Sky Mouth" Montana than I can ever take. She's like X-rays. There's a lifetime limit after which your genetic structure falls apart.

At any rate, I'm in a funk. As I look back across my old blogs, one thing rings true: they are laments about stuff over which I have no control and am not likely to any time soon. In that sense, they remind me of Solomon's agonized cry in Ecclesiastes 1:

2 "Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."
3 What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun?
4 Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.
5 The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises.
6 The wind blows to the south and turns to the north; round and round it goes, ever returning on its course.
7 All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again.
8 All things are wearisome, more than one can say. The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing.
9 What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.
10 Is there anything of which one can say, "Look! This is something new"? It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time.
11 There is no remembrance of men of old, and even those who are yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow.

How sad that the man once considered the wisest of all, a king of countless riches and splendor, the son of David should be reduced to this? Yet is this not where we all should find ourselves when we consider our human condition? Created - from nothing. We have one pass at this vapor in time that we call life. Solomon knew this and he was heartbroken by it. For all his successes, he had many regrets. Things he should've said or done; perhaps other things he should've left unsaid or undone.

I stumbled upon a blog today while looking for my cousin's website. It wasn't my cousin, but a brother and sister in Christ. Strangely, ironically, I know folks that they know. From long ago. But beyond that, their website was a three year journal of God's faithfulness to them. Where I have spent a mere few months commentating on the world around me - a world that is temporal and fleeting - they have stayed focused on the course. The eternal. The foundation that cannot be shaken.

The past few years, while they have maintained their focus, my foundation has been shaken. It's been three years of drastic and dramatic change. Some good, some great, some really bad. I am often reminded that we cannot change our past and therefore should not keep looking back at it. As such, that three year blog reminded me that I should look forward; use the past as a benchmark against which to measure new growth and a marker to remember from where I've come. It was the "slap across the face" that my new pastor often mentions, telling me "hey, dummy, you need to pray more." Nothing more. Nothing less. Commune with God and listen for that still, small voice. I need to pray with those whom I love and do so without ceasing.

I have resisted for too long. The Bible speaks so many times of men wrestling with God or testing God. He was always faithful. And He always won. I think that blog was my wake-up call to pay attention and move forward. God is Good . . . all the time.

Walk with me . . .

Transpoliticked

That's my new word du jour. I liken it to RINO (republican in name only vis-a-vis Rudy Giuliani). Transpoliticked can actually have two meanings according to Mike's dictionary of the insane. 1) adj., origen unknown, refers to one whose actually political beliefs vary markedly from their political affiliation. Ex. calling oneself a democrat when in reality the person is a bleeding heart socialist. Or, 2) adj., describing a politician who cannot figure out which sexual organ they prefer so they use one and dress like they have the other.

This phenomena likely doesn't happen in Iran, because as President Mahmoud Imawhackajob says, this is unique to the United States. However, it has happened twice in recent months, and oddly enough, not in San Francisco.

First, there is Susan Stanton, former Largo city manager; formerly known as Steve Stanton. At age 48, after losing his/her/its job in Largo, FL, Steve decided that it was time he come clean - so to speak. Despite marriage and children, Steve preferred hosiery to dress socks and bras to wife beater undershirts. And so began the era of Susan Stanton. http://www.sptimes.com/2007/05/13/Tampabay/Introducing_Susan_Sta.shtml

Some months have passed and the mental image that scarred my mind's eye had faded. Until today, when it was reported that incumbent Michael Bruce ran for Riverdale, GA's city council seat as Michelle Bruce. http://mj.933flz.com/pages/mainfeed.html?feed=204719&article=2959720

Honestly, if these two dudes can't figure out what to do with their own twig and berries, how can they possibly represent a constituency, whom for the most part I suspect, know damn well who they are, what their private parts are intended for, and what they believe? Beyond that, look at them. Guys can get away with ugly a lot easier than women can. It's a terrible, yet true, double-standard. As men, I'm sure these guys were relatively average save for their FUPAs. (Look it up at http://www.urbandictionary.com/.) But as women, they are butt fugly; as in, fell out of the ugly tree, struck every branch on the way down, and landed in a major bucket of suck.

I can understand, perhaps, having a preference for one gender or another. As a guy, my preference is FOR the female gender. Not to be one, dress like one, or act like one. As such, one might conclude that I am a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Nevertheless, I don't wish to look like a real lesbian wearing butch jeans and butch hair and talkin' all tough like I just wiped my rear with a pine cone. I cannot understand the desire to be, biologically, something that I am not. Contrary to some opinions that may form as a result of my coarse demeanor, I subscribe to the classic Judeo-Christian tenets of faith and as such believe that every human was "fearfully and wonderfully made" and that no person, in their present form, was a mistake. As such, if you want to re-create yourself as a member of the opposite gender or another gender/species entirely, that's up to you. However, do NOT think that you are entitled to hold an elected office as a one-man/woman/thing freak show.

I am sick to death of every whiny-ass minority thinking they warrant special rights and treatment. The most politically correct in our society like to spout ad-nauseoum about tolerance yet refuse to tolerate the opinion of the majority who say "stop pandering to these fractional, freak show minorities." "Oh, we need gay rights, lesbian rights, transgendered rights, wild monkey-love rights, hippy rights, witchcraft rights, black rights . . . " Blah Blah Blah

Of all of those, only one is an uncontrollable genetic event. The rest, arguably, are choices. Gay or otherwise. Personally, I have an enormous propensity to favor females. However, as I have learned the hard way, I MUST choose one and be done. It works so much better that way. I cannot go around having coitus with multiple females and then whine that I need special rights. The only "right" I have is to be harshly judged and condemned for my actions. Period. Similarly, what a person does or doesn't do, prefers or doesn't prefer, should have no bearing on the assignment of special rights. There are human rights. Period. Life. Liberty. The pursuit of happiness.

As such, if playing dress-up and taking your grown-up drag show on the road is your pursuit of happiness, go nuts. You're already half way there in my humble opinion. However, don't expect to be welcomed into public office with open arms and then whine that you were disenfranchised. There are plenty of things to do, irrespective of your so-called preferences that don't involve elected office. Go do that. And stop grossing the rest of us out. I don't expect you to wear a Scarlet Letter 'F' (standing for freak) but neither do I want to have your issues imposed on me.

It has long been time that we collectively settle on a singular, universal set of rights called "human." Beyond that, if your preferences result in you being on the fringes, then accept that and move on. Don't expect the majority to bend over backwards for you. That ain't how it works.

Fetch Me My Shawl

I was stricken by a bit of an epiphany yesterday. Somewhere in the past few years, I became uncool, of course calling into doubt whether I ever was or if they were just delusions of coolness.

It began last weekend when a whippersnapper showed up at our door peddling alarm systems. We don't need one, per se, but the equipment is a bit dated and for some reason, the lady of the house invited the tike in for tea. (I think she thought he was her type from 20 years ago.) At any rate, he told us of his studies in college and proclaimed that he didn't know what he wanted to be when he grew up. Without missing a beat the words "when I was your age" came out of my mouth as though I was some mountaintop guru having vague yet fond recollections of being a sophomore in college. I went on to lament the tragedy of having to decide what we wanted to be as adults when we didn't even know who we were or what interested us. All that interested me at that age were girls, cars, and money. Well, mostly figuring out how to get all of the the above.

My hopes of being a fighter pilot in the USAF via ROTC crashed and burned that first semester when my vision went from beyond perfect to not so much. I was told I could still fly back seat or do anything else, but with no throttle or yoke, my interest quickly diminished. I had no idea of my artistic capabilities or interest in quantum physics or mechanical engineering back then, so I opted for the Speech Communication, Finance, Management track. Speech Comm was great but for the fact that I had no idea what I would do with it. Finance and Management? ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. But hey, the money was good for 16 years. Well, more like 11. Banking wasn't very lucrative even when the industry was at its prime.

So here I sit, 18 years later looking at this youngster with nary a care in the world other than whether we'd agree to have this nifty new alarm system installed. Insert heavy sigh here.

My favorite morning show added a new assistant producer yesterday that some are saying will be more like a co-host. Her name is Meredith, but I'm sure she'll get a fitting nickname like Skankho in no time. I went to her bio on the show's website to discover that she's a relatively attractive 20-something party chick. There are some 30 photos of her doing what most unwed 20-somethings do best. Partying. I also noticed that she hung out with plump chicks. I guess that's her way of ensuring she's always the hottest in the group.

I remarked last night that I can't even recall the last time I felt like partying like that much less actually did. If it's past Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune, I'm happy to still be awake, much less shaking my now-larger booty on a dance floor. I have images of Flubber and Fat Albert in my mind as I give thought to myself dancing to anything but Lawrence Welk's Anthology. I hate Meredith. And Alarm Boy - Caped Crusader of Wireless Alarms.

But more than that, I hate having realized that I've gotten to that point where my cool factor is pretty much shot. I think I only THINK that I am stylish and fashionable now. In truth, I'm probably like every other nearly-40 dude give or take a few inches on the waist. In fact, I'm probably like the dude in the link below: at a concert because it used to be fun, but wearing ear plugs because I'd like to retain what's left of my hearing, wearing cheap-ass WalMart shoes because, well, they were cheap. And wearing a doofy looking cap on my head because all the 20 year-old skater dudes do and they seem to be "all the rage."

Having firmly established this latest epiphany, all I can say is, "fetch me my shawl."

http://www.barzelay.net/files/images/20060324_-_ted_leo/old_couple_at_show.jpg

I'm Blinded by Flashes of the Obvious

You know it's a slow news day when you have the following headlines:

• Prison System a Costly and Harmful Failure: Report (Reuters)


• Motor City Named Nation's Most Dangerous (AP)


• China Not Fighting off E-waste Nightmare (AP)

The headlines herald from the news as though they should come as a surprise; as though by reading the articles, we will be blessed with a trifeca of epiphanies. So, let's dissect these morsels of wisdom.

America's prison population has increased eight times since 1970 yet has had little impact on crime. Over 2.2 million Americans occupy a prison or jail cell compared to 196,429 in 1970. It will cost another $27.5 billion to build additional facilities to deal with the influx of another increase of 192,000 in five years. On the one hand, this study was funded partly by George Soros, so I have to believe that it carries his standard bias. On the other, numbers don't lie, so perhaps we can conclude that prisons are not necessarily the best or only answer to our obviously growing crime problem.

Speaking of criminals, Detroit is now the most dangerous city in our nation followed by St. Louis, Flint, Oakland, Camden, Birmingham, North Charleston, Memphis, Richmond, and Cleveland. As though Detroit doesn't have enough problems as evidenced by their renewed effort to draw new business and tourism, now they are saddled with being the nation's most dangerous city. Their next marketing campaign might include "See COPS live - right here in Detroit!" Or, "Detroit, where you can freeze your dead ass off." All of these cities have something in common and, interestingly enough, Detroit is also home to one of the nation's largest populations of those peaceful Muslim folk. Hmmm, I'm thinkin' their peacefulness hasn't rubbed off too much.

You would think that Soros would be interested in ridding the world of much more than guns and would turn his attention to Guiyu, China where the world's electronics are "recycled" without so much as the first environmental or OSHA-like control in place. TV picture tubes are smashed by hand to recover glass and electronic parts while at the same time releasing as much as 6.5 pounds of lead dust. Wire is melted to recover the copper and computer circuit boards are broiled to release the gold. Even the West has found that it's 10 times cheaper to dump our junk on unsuspecting third world hell-holes than it is to properly dispose of it here. I am not even allowed to discard my used fluorescent light tubes in the dumpster because of mercury contained somewhere in the glass confines, but China can destroy human life and the environment without so much as an awkward glance from the enlightened parts of the world.

Some 35 million tons of toxic waste is dumped on China each year without the first control in place for its safe disposal. The report tells us that the ground water has been unsafe for human consumption for a long time yet fish for human consumption are still raised in local ponds and piles of waste adjoin rice paddies.

At some point, China will need to be seen for the human rights, environmental rights, and common sense violator that it is. This nation has gone unchecked for far too long and now we are reaping the results. How many pets and children have to die from Chinese product poisoning? How many Chinese workers have to die from their working conditions before the world takes notice? The US and Europe are all up in arms about the man-made global warming myth, yet no one ever looks to the Pacific Rim to see that if anyone is a major contributor to pollution, it's them!

Look back at these three headlines and see what's missing. Common Sense. Nearly 40 years have proven that prisons as we know them do little to deter crime. I find it ironic that this coincides well with the atheists mandating that God be banished from the classroom and the courthouse. Detroit is a dangerous place. Ya think? Obviously prison isn't a deterrent to crime and the root cause for the crime has been misdiagnosed. In part, I think that non-existent fathers and crack-whore mothers are a major factor. Failed liberal policies are another. Finally, China. You cannot go a day without hearing of some major flaw in that communist crap-can country. Given their lack of controls, why would we even consider buying anything from there? The Wal*Mart nation mentality has reigned supreme: bigger, faster, more, cheaper. At some point, that low price point means a sacrifice somewhere else. I think we have found it.

Get Yer Pitchforks!!!

It's a witch hunt!! We're going to slaughter every last cultural icon on the altar of Political Correctness if it . . . well . . . if it kills US!!


First, on a barely light note, our beloved, albeit fictitious, Santa Claus in Australia was instructed to no longer chortle with "ho ho ho" as it may frighten children and offend women. Instead, his caricatures must say "ha ha ha." How about "duh duh duh," I ask. Santa has been around far longer than political correctness and let's face it: He's an old dude. And most old guys get a pass on their antiquated figures of speech. Young black guys can call each other "nigga" with no remorse or retribution. White guys can call each other "cracka" with similar immunity, although the term "Florida Cracker" actually came from cattle herders throughout the state that used whips to git their doggies along. The crack of the whip earned them that name. But apparently since Don Imus, in typical fashion, referred to the Rutgers Womens' Basketball team as "nappy headed hos" the term "ho" is now potentially offensive irrespective of whether it's in reference to a wintry character's (don't want to offend anyone by referring to the C-holiday) chortle, a female with nappy hair, a woman of ill-repute, or the latter third of the state Ida's name. Guess we'll be eatin' taters from Ida now . . . wouldn't want to frighten lil chilrens or women whom now, according to the Australians, lack the mental and emotional fortitude to tolerate the age-old chortle from an age-old fart in a goofy red suit.


In today's news of the ludicrous, a Halloween costume award may keep the highly qualified Julie Myers from receiving the Senate's nod of approval to maintain the post of Director of Immigration and Customs Enforcement - a position to which she was appointed in 2005 during a Senate recess.



I cannot fathom why anyone would actually sign on to be a democrat. I've never seen a bunch of people walking around with sticks up their butts looking to wreck everything for everyone like they do. Talk about pandering to the lowest common denominator of the fraction of some disenfranchised minority. Seriously, if democrats didn't keep inventing victims, they'd have a constituency, counting themselves, of about 447, give or take.



The brouhaha stems from a costume contest at the agency (ICE) where she and two other managers awarded the "most original" costume to a cracka, er, an Anglo-Saxon homosapien of male persuasion wearing dark make-up, dreads, and a prison outfit. Insert whiny liberal voice here: "that's insensitive to colored folk who like to wear their hair in a certain way while wearing orange coveralls." Which turnip truck did Harry Reid (liberal hack, Nev.) fall off? Does he so quickly forget that his colleague Robert C. Byrd of West-by-god-Virgina was A FREAKIN KLANSMAN???? As in KKK. The Kracka Kuntree Klub? Byrd probably tied a few knots himself in his day, but shhhh, "he is enlightened now." Oh, WHAT . . . EVER.



Never mind the fact that the "National Association of African-Americans in the Department of Homeland Security" sent a letter to Reid this week praising Myer's commitment to black employees. OK, that's all well and good, but why does HSA need an association for black employees? Do they have one for crackas too? What about Asians for the Ethical Treatment of Panda Bears, the AETPB? Or one for liberal employees called Democratic Unification of Minorities (DUM)?



Sen. Claire McCaskill, (liberal hack, Mo.) says she "can forgive anyone who apologizes for a wrong deed." "But it doesn't change the fact that the incident showed a woeful lack of judgment." Once again, without liberalism, we wouldn't have mediocrity. These folks are the kings and queens of androgyny, homogenization, and pasteurization of society. If it isn't genderless, religious-less, plain, and unremarkable, it's b-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-d. It's freakin Halloween, People. Get over yourselves for five seconds. Even the French, in a country synonymous with "whine" (and wine) can be pragmatic every now and again. The poor guy couldn't dress up as the Easter Bunny (even though the term "Easter" has pagan origins), St. Patrick (sounds too Catholic), St. Valentine (Catholic and possibly gay), George Washington (too white and a Mason), Yankee Doodle (has a song about dandy doodles - could be misconstrued as unlawful harassment), or a Pilgrim (again, too white and they were mean to the Native Americans). So really, what was left? I guess if he dressed in a Klan outfit he'd have been ok with the Libs. Hey, it works for Byrd . . .



Poor Julie. Try the private sector, ma'am. It hasn't devolved THAT far yet. And the pay is marginally better. At least until your naysayers get into office and tax us to death.

Flying Carpets, Flying Monkeys

Today's AP is reporting that a 19 year-old woman in Saudi Arabia who was gang raped has been sentenced to prison and 200 lashes for having been in a car with a male non-relative. WHAT????!!!!! Oh yes. They increased her sentence because she took her case to the media for attention.

The rapists were also sentenced to terms varying from 2 to 10 years. The judges have the discretion to hand down no punishment to death in rape cases. Sure, sounds reasonable. I'm starting the think that sentencing guidelines aren't so bad given this degree of discretion.

Boy, ya gotta love that peaceful religion that gives us Sharia Law. Heck, let's bring that on over to the States. "I Divorce You. I Divorce You. I Divorce You." That's all it takes and you're done. I reckon if you say it with candles and turn around three times in front of a mirror, a genie will appear too.

Oh but that's not all. The judges have stripped her lawyer of his license for trying to defend her. He is up for a judiciary review. I can only imagine what will happen to him . . .

And to think we are amused by Disney's Aladdin. As a rat-owner, I'm offended that they even refer to him as a "street rat." That's offensive to rats everywhere. But the Sultan seems about right: mindless, clueless, and hypnotized by his own stupid rules. And what kind of idiot keeps a pet tiger? Look at those two guys in Vegas. Didn't work out too well for them. Ok, I know it's just a movie, but still.

Sadly, that very mentality is alive and well in our own nation. We have democratic candidates who want to take "excess profits" (whatever those are) from companies and give them to the poor. So much for the main tenet of capitalism: YOU CANNOT HAVE EXCESS PROFIT. The concept is an oxymoron. It's also alive within our beloved homeowners associations.

Yesterday, a letter was received that detailed countless guidelines by which the architectural review committee would carry out their maniacal duties. No more than five trees per lot (you'd think Algore would take issue with that). Ten if you live on a corner (oh bless you great HOA monarch people). Only these specific, bland colors (the lightest two shades available). And only these six colors for your driveway. Plants must be green (even if they are normally yellow, purple, brown, tan, variegated, etc.). Landscape borders must be earth tone - I guess because they're near the earth. Sadly, the only thing down to earth with these clowns are the landscape borders.

Here we have a Board of roughly ten members handing down edicts like little neighborhood emperors and Saudi judges. In the absence of reading the actual rules and the legislation behind them, we'll just make stuff up. If you want to hang a flag no greater than 4.5' x 6' the ARC must still approve it. In a neighborhood of 1100 homes, none of which worth more than $250K on a good day, who gives a crap if you have a garden flag to celebrate the season? While mailbox posts may be replaced with ones of similar size and shape to the original, committee approval must be obtained first. I wonder what happens when a post is struck by a car and needs to be replaced, but it takes a month to get the post approved? Presumably one of the illustrious Board members will wait outside your home each day to retrieve the mail from the carrier and deliver it to your color-approved door, across your color-approved driveway, past your color-approved plantings and five trees, and place it in an approved cardboard box under your pre-approved flag made of pre-approved Egyptian cotton flown from a synthetic pole made by Orthodox Jews who ate only kosher pork for lunch. (For those not in the know, pork cannot be made kosher - unless the Board approves it, apparently.)

So as I look at these Saudi judges and mini-monarchs that are the so-called Board, I return to one of my long-standing conclusions. You've never seen a statue of a committee in a park. And you certainly won't see one where I live if it wasn't pre-approved. By the way, did you know that a group of vultures is called a "committee." Go figure. Seriously, there is a better chance of monkeys flying out of my rear than there is of this committee being found worthy of the respect of the community over which they reign.

Darwin was Right . . . Sorta

The concept of Evolution and its half sister "Survival of the Fittest - Natural Selection" has caught on a bit of a snag.


Here's my rationale: undesirable traits are said to breed out because those traits result in the demise of the species. Birds without wings for example - not so good if your gig is flying. Breeds out. Can't reach the nest to partake of the, well, birds and bees. So, you'd think that other traits like homosexuality and stupidity would breed out as well. The former because such individuals are not in the business of pro-creating and the latter because their stupidity wounds, or better yet, kills them.


And so I take you to Crackerview, er, I mean Riverview, Florida. My hometown, so I can call it that. Some knucklehead reportedly spread an urban legend around a high school that a hobo, no not Johnny Depp, left some money in or near an anhydrous ammonia pipeline that crosses our beloved Alafia River.


Some of the kids that ride the short bus, apparently, decided to go look for the proverbial pot of gold. What they found was a very real bucket of suck. Drilling into the pipe, as if cash would flow out like water, resulted in one of them being burned over 18% of his body from face to crotch. Granted, second degree chemical burns on the twig and cherries could be argued as punishment enough. But given that it resulted in hundreds being evacuated, $250K in pipeline repair, a major highway closure, business closures, and traffic snarls that spread over 50 square miles, I'm not inclined to be too sympathetic. The real rub is that the pipeline company has stated that they're just going to "eat" the cost of the repair and not seek to prosecute the teens.



Let's make this even more poignant. This little hole involved the fire department, sheriff's office, US Coast Guard, Florida Dept. of Environmental Protection, US EPA, Mosaic (the recipient of the product), Tampa Pipeline, a high-risk welding specialist from 1000 miles away, and countless others. Enormous volumes of water were used to disperse the lingering cloud into the river over two days. The impact of which is yet to be fully revealed. As we are in "manatee season," the season in which protected manatees return to shallower, warmer waters for the winter, no doubt some of them could be impacted. Fish kills? Perhaps. No one knows yet.

I am aghast at that magnitude of this very small issue. A reader to the local paper commented online that he wonders the impact if someone with deliberate malintent took a stick or two of dynamite to this 30 mile pipeline. Then what? There were no emergency shut off valves, no safe ways to depressurize the system, and no other risk mitigation controls. The pipeline is labeled with periodic signage, but of course who reads instructions much less obeys them?


My argument is that if these misguided youngsters are not charged with any sort of crime, then the government agencies, businesses, and individuals impacted by this mini-disaster have a right to claims against them and their parents. Some argue that they deserve to be cut some slack. Not so much. Common sense tells you not to drill into a pipe that isn't yours. Common sense tells you not to steal (be it money or ammonia). Hell, there are laws on the books about stealing. These fools robbed every evacuee from 48+ hours of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Apologies are all well and good, but really . . . who really means it today? Especially kids when you practically have to water board them to get an insincere, attitude-riddled "sorry."


So yes, I think there may be some validity to natural selection, yet it is not comprehensive. Maybe it stops somewhere along the food chain just past the vulture. Otherwise, idiots like this would've bred out ages ago.

The Moose is Loose on the Field

There's always one. Sometimes two. I have criticized overly zealous HOAs in the past and am about to do so again. Frankly, I must assent to them being a necessary evil for all the obvious reasons to which even the most rigid HOA-hater will concede.

However, they remind me of youth sporting activities. There's always that one overly vocal parent - usually a mom - wailing that the wild pitch was intentional. That they tried to hurt "Lil Chauncey." Then, when Chauncey actually does get hurt, as sometimes happens in sports, set the house on fire - it's easier to deal with - because now the moose is loose on the field.

And so it is with a community forum in which I participate. If anyone from there reads this, I suspect they'll know with relative precision of what I speak. But I've found it to be a rather ubiquitous truth. Those with ample idle time to devote to their middle class HOA are also the worst at actually managing it with professionalism, class, and tact. Instead, it's a bash them (the peasants, er, I mean constituents) over the head with a 2x4 till they comply or give up approach.

Recently, a specific development's website message forum was disabled. No real loss as it was mostly a place for the board members to lambaste anyone with whom they disagreed. In fact, it was downright abusive and bordered on slanderous. I'm really surprised it didn't result in more than a few cease and desist letters. Nevertheless, it was brought back up some time later with only the sitting board members as long-standing members. All the rest of the peasants had to re-register and were mandated to provide their street name and use their first or last name in their screen-name. This forum is paid for by the community, so really, if I wanted to be MainStreetHeckler, then it should be my prerogative. Screen names provide enough anonymity to protect you from all but the most obsessive and insane. Given the tactics employed by the ruling party, screen names seem even more prudent if you don't want to be harassed about a crack weed in your driveway. Now, perish the thought, but a few people asked a few legitimate questions after the relaunch.

The questions were met with even more vitriol than before resulting in the forum being shut down, presumably forever. Well, thank Allah/Buddha/and Macy's. Good riddance.

Sadly, the ending isn't so happy. No, the vipers found a larger community forum on which to spew their toxin. And as before, not one word of good, helpful, or kind information was provided. Fortunately, many of those on the larger forum are savvy enough to see a snake in the brush. The newbies are itty bitty fish in a big pond without the clout or credibility they once thought they had. And as is their practice, they think everything is about them. They probably have one Carly Simon song constantly running through their narrow minds.

Stranger still, they try to use private messaging to seduce others into their lair. Fortunately, I don't see that it's working. It only took one person three posts to be seen for who they are. The other one is only a post or two behind. No doubt, others will join. Hopefully, they won't spoil the whole as they did before.

As I mentioned earlier, there's always one . . . and it is loose on the field. If you know anything about moose, they're big, but not too bright. Eventually, size won't be enough and the dim wits will be outwitted.

We're So Screwed

That could be the name of a new song sung to the tune of "You're so Vein."

I was just on my town's forum where a new member was posting about her business. It touted itself as selling "heirloom style products that strengthen family ties." Sounds nice. Even a bit like Mayberry. Heck, at first blush, I'm thinking "sign me up"!! But then it occurred to me, heirlooms are developed, not bought. I cannot go to Sears today and buy an heirloom that means anything to my family. I can, however, look at a Hummel that my father gave my grandmother, that he bought in Germany in 1960 and say, "gosh, that's an heirloom." Four generations of my family have experienced it. Or the wooden camel ottoman that he bought in Turkey during the same tour. Me, my cousins, their kids, and my kids have all ridden on that silly thing as though it was real. Again, four generations. But, alas, in our "have it now" immediate-gratification society, we can no longer wait for an heirloom to form. We must go market them and buy them.

Several of us remarked that you cannot buy heirlooms. I even added that it's probably like other Chinese made crap found in catalogs for pennies on the dollar. Chances are it was made in some substandard factory with leaded paint by exploited children. You would've thought I ran over this lady's dog. With two SUVs.

I didn't realize that my opinion, since counter to hers, was both narrow, prejudicial, AND egotistical all at once.

She is the perfect example of the expression: ignorance is bliss. Frankly, I don't care what she wants to sell or buy. If she can make a success of it and herself, more power to her. That's the beauty of a free market capitalist society. The marks of a socialist or fascist society is one in which free speech and contradictory opinions are slighted or banned.

With that stage set, take a moment to look at the upcoming presidential election. In this corner, at a shrill 145 lbs, Shrillary "The Hun" Clinton. Backing her is Obama "The Magic Negro" and John "Breck Girl" Edwards.

In the opposite corner, Rudy "The RINO" Guillllliiiiiaaaaannnnniiiiiii! Supported by Mitt "The Mormon Monstrosity" Rommmmmnnnneeeeeyyyyy and Fred "Sleepy" Thompson.

As I stand back and look at my choices, I consider my own thoughts from prior elections. Thoughts like: this is the most important election of all time. And of the choices available, especially the last time, Jorge Bush was probably the lesser of all evils, but evil nonetheless. Not one of these individuals is a staunch, unabashed supporter of the Constitution. Not even Bush. And as each of these might be called upon to uphold the Constitution, they should be tried for treason at the first hint of waffling. This includes Bush.

Yet sadly, the majority of the US population is likely similar to this woman who got her dainties in a twist because I insulted her industry. She only sees part of the picture - the part she wants to see. Damn the torpedoes - as long as my myopic perspective works for me, then who cares how it impacts the next generation. Hmmm, for someone sold on selling heirlooms, this mentality is certainly leaving a lousy one for our grandchildren.

But hey, ignorance is bliss. And, "we're so screwed."

The Matrix was Right

Remember the Matrix trilogy? The basic premise was that the world that we perceive is merely that: a perception. In reality, humanity served to provide battery power to a world of androids. Basically, the perception was better than the reality. Unfortunately, there were a few holes in the concept since it failed to account for the realities of those outside the Western world. Call me crazy - folks often do - but the perception of living in some bucket of crap country with flies swarming my bloated abdomen doesn't seem too appealing. But, hey, not my movie series, so not my issue.

What I have come to conclude, however, is that humanity is universally incapable of co-existing with itself. Science tells us that homo sapiens are social creatures and require family groups in which to live and thrive. I disagree. (Although the alternative leads to the same problem, so this is mostly just a rant about futility.)

From the dawn of time, man has been at odds. In Judeo-Christian speak, man was at odds with God shortly after being created. Then man was at odds with man: Adam blamed Eve for eating the fruit that the serpent suggested she eat - never mind the fact that she neglected to realize it was a snake to whom she was talking. Then one of their sons killed his brother.

Historically, documents had to be marked with a wax droplet and the imprint of the king's signet ring to be official and binding. Despite this, the contract subscribers would breach their contract and wars would be fought. First on a battlefield, and later in court.

Yet now, our courts don't actually argue the issues so much as they argue about which party wrote the agreement better and what the definition of "is" is. Whether you buy a car, a house, a washing machine, or for some absolutely insane reason, decide to wed, you enter into a binding agreement. In the former instances, the tenets of that agreement are generally clear as to the obligations of both parties. In the latter, not so much. It is far easier to wed than to divorce; and hence why I posit that if you are foolish enough to want to get married, you should first attend mandatory schooling on the process of reversing that 59% odds of a bad decision.

The size of our world's militaries, police departments, and prison systems are concrete evidence that man cannot get along. Man is worse than a cancer. At least cancer cells work together to achieve their end.

I recall a time when I was young, naive, and otherwise foolish enough to think that things were not this way and that mankind was generally good. Some may read this and conclude that I am "just an angry person." In truth, I'm not angry. I'm past that. I like to think that I somewhere between disillusioned and totally indifferent.

The alternative to which I alluded in my opening was for a planet of six billion hermits. Yet, that's not a very practical solution as invariably in our inability to get along, we'll be back to fighting wars and establishing alliances over which ogre gets which tree in which swamp. So to those select few who have somehow managed to achieve your absolute isolation, I salute you. Ironically, your isolation precludes you from reading this and therefore you lack the awareness of your envious fan amongst this dysfunctional experiment we politely call "society." To the rest of you, don't expect to read too many more blogs. My disgust with people is now fully fomented.

Cry Me a River - by I P Daily

If I hear about one more so-called societal injustice, I truly believe that blood will shoot from eyes, my head will explode, and orange light will glow from the remains of my neck.

I seem to recall from a very young age that there are consequences to my actions. That means, even as a youngster, I knew that if I pee'd my pants, I'd get in trouble - especially in church. Or, if I stole the neighbor kid's Matchbox car from his front porch and then told my parents I "found it" . . . "on the sidewalk" . . . "near uh Chris' house" . . . and then was taken to the kitchen table for interrogation and confessed to my crime under the threat of no snack and THEN had to walk all the way back down there, and ADMIT to my crime to Chris and his parents before I could get my snack, there was a consequence. Oddly, I still love chocolate chip cookies and will do almost anything for them. But I digress.

As a slightly more mature adult (there again, a topic of hot debate), I have discovered that life is a series of "If, Then" events. If I add 2 to 2, then I get 4. If I cheat on my wife, then I get in a crap load of trouble (set the house on fire, it's easier to deal with). If I rob a bank, then I get prosecuted. If I exceed the speed limit, then I get a citation. If I show up late to work, then I get some form of discipline. If I'm already in prison, then I'm expected to follow even more stringent rules. If I don't, then there are consequences.

So I am sick to freakin death of all this whining about the hoodlum who died at a juvenile boot camp. Somehow we have forgotten that it was because he was a CRIMINAL that he was there. We overlook the fact that he did not comply with instructions resulting in the rough handling. He was a punk on the streets and was being a punk in prison. Bottomline. Yeah, I'm sorry that he died - he didn't deserve death. But neither he nor his family should have cause to expect kid glove treatment. Boot camp is, after all, BOOT CAMP. His choice was get his act together now, or spend the rest of his life being a little prison bitch to some other gangsta twice his size.

Same with the Jena Six. I don't care if you're white, orange, green, brown, or purple. If you commit a crime and are legitimately convicted of it, then deal. Build a bridge and get over it. Adapt and overcome.

Maybe the boot camp guards were rough. That's their job. If they were there to babysit, the point to boot camp would be lost. Don't you just love how the media showed much younger school pictures AFTER he died?? His mug shots revealed a punk. Plain and simple. Not a cute, dimple-faced youngster.

There is this chronic cry for equality - racial and otherwise. Well, I posit that until the blacks stop making race an issue, it will remain one. Good luck finding a "whites only" college, scholarship, sorority, or advancement organization. That would be discriminatory. But by god, you can have a race-specific function for everyone else with absolute immunity. The closest thing whites have to a club is the motorcycle gang, the Outlaws, and they don't even like other whites.

It is high time society at large realized that there are two concepts that they must embrace: personal responsibility and common sense. Science taught us that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. The classic If/Then scenario is as real today as it was when I first learned how to program in BASIC on a TRS80. And it applies uniformly without regard to race, religion, gender, or socio-economic status.

Go therefore and take ownership of your actions and all that comes with them, good or bad. And if you don't like the results of your actions, you have only one person to fault. And to that, I toast you with a steaming hot mug of shut the %&^ up.

The Empire Strikes Back . . . Again!

WAIT!! STOP THE PRESSES!! Darn it, where is Algore when I need him. Where is Rosie? OK, well the answer to that is obvious, but where is Algore???

Scientists have discovered that, GASP, sunlight is melting ice on Saturn's moon, Iapetus. This is why, so the theory goes, the moon appears to be starkly black and white. The white parts are ice and the black parts are not. When it gets warm there, -230 degrees F, water vapor is released from the black dust and settles elsewhere and freezes into ice.

What will we do? What WILL WE DO???? Surely someone must sound the alarm. If the ice melts, a rock on Iapedus might get covered with water. Oh but wait, in this case, the water just moves to where it's colder than -230 and re-freezes.

All this warming and cooling talk brings me down to earth . . . a place I like to call my home away from home. So, if sunlight can cause it to be warm enough for water vapor to be released into the atmosphere in some places on Iapedus, is it so unusual that it's also happening here? There is more than ample data to suggest that on a macro level, the Earth's temperature is not changing dramatically one way or the other. The urban heat island effect has been validated and actually stands to reason. However, warming and cooling are pretty standard fare for a planet in this solar system. While we know that greenhouse gases might create an atmospheric blanket that retains heat, that same blanket may insulate the Earth from increased heating from the sun due to increased solar activity; it may also prevent additional cancer-causing UV radiation from reaching the surface of the Earth thereby preventing a pandemic of skin cancers.

But the media and the global warming priests and priestesses don't want you hear of those realities. And they certainly don't want you to know that it's also getting warmer on Mars. So either the Chinese have kicked arse in the space race and have colonized Mars with their carbon-emitting industrial engine, or, hmmmm, the FREAKIN SUN GOT HOTTER.

It is after all a big ball of flaming gas; who would think that it might not heat up from time to time? We know that it sends solar flares into space that disrupt radio signals and satellite communication. So, do the math . . .

Let's think about something else the scientists purport as fact: they say that the dinosaurs died out as a result of the last ice age that was precipitated by an asteroid colliding with our planet and blanketing it with a thick cloud of dust. Where was Algore then???? He could've fixed that problem just by inventing something, right? So, if dust can reduce the planet to a big ice cube, wouldn't it stand to reason that a thinner layer of carbon particles in the upper atmosphere would have a similar effect in terms of reflecting heat and light? Hmmmm.

So here's my dilemma: is "Catastrophic Impending Global Climate Change" science or religion? The path of a hurricane cannot be predicted with absolute accuracy. Next weekend's weather forecast is "iffy" at best. Yet somehow we blindly trust that it will be half a degree warmer in 2107 and the coastlines will forever be changed? Hurricanes change coastlines. Earthquakes change coastlines. Volcanic eruptions change coastlines. Yet we don't try to control them . . . yet. Although, we will jet around in private aircraft to preach our message of doom and expect everyone else to walk to work. "Do as I say, not as I do" is the mantra of fascists, dictators, and religious zealots. It is the religion of Self. I posit that Global Climate Change is the newest rendition of that religion merely creating another pseudo-crisis from which we will need a savior that takes the form of a political party. And anyone who expresses a view counter to theirs will receive the mark and be given to the religion's antagonist. In Christianity, this is Satan. In Islam, it's the rest of us. To the screeching pastors and purveyors of Global Warming, it's conservatism.

Well, Praise Allah and Pass the Pork. I think I'll drive my diesel powered filth spewing eight passenger SUV home today all by myself and smoke a fine cigar with the windows open while I do it. Damn the torpedoes!!